Part 2 : How to Co-create Thriving Partnership through Self- & Relationship Mastery
By Dr. Elsbeth Meuth
© 2019 HumanRelationshipMastery.com – Copyright Worldwide
Energy and breath go hand in hand. If we don't breathe, we die. It's rather obvious. So if life force energy and breath go together in dying, they must go together in living. This is what we put to use here. While we don't activate life force energy, it's already there from conception on, we can affect it. Therefore we can affect sexual, emotional and thought energy.
The access to self-mastery starts with coming to stillness through awareness of breath. When we breathe into the belly the parasympathetic nervous system gets activated and with that the feel good hormones like endorphins, serotonin, melatonin and oxytocin. I don't even have to work on it, I already feel better through this simple act of coming to stillness through the belly breath.
And this state of stillness allows for a moment of pause. In that moment of pause I have choice: ‘Do I want to stay angry or am I more committed to harmony within myself and in my relationship?’ In that moment I can master my emotions and thoughts instead of being mastered by them.
Of course, the same principle applies to our sexual self. We can be addicted to the sexual impulse, live in a state of suppressed sexual energy or be totally oblivious to sexual life force energy and its impact on us individually and collectively. While nothing is wrong about being horny or reversely being sexually shut down, however, if this is the only way that is available to us, the relationship with ourselves is very limited and mutually fulfilling human connection is not possible.
Bringing self-mastery to our sexual self calls for raising our awareness of life force energy that is sexual in nature. Without this energy none of us would be here on this planet.
How can we raise our sexual consciousness?
First, we want to learn how to channel and circulate our sexual aroused energy instead of spilling and wasting it. Through the conscious breath and Third Eye focus we move that enlivening energy through our whole being from the sexual center up to the top of the head and circulate it back down again. We connect our sexual with our consciousness self so we can fuel our dreams and visions with this life-giving nectar.
Now you get a sense of what the potential could be for you and your relationships. This is not about forgoing pleasure, it is rather making use of the pleasure to imbue our physical health, emotional wellbeing and consciousness self.
Now we’re ready to bring self-mastery of our sexual, emotional and mental self into our relationships that may be intimate relationships, family relationships, friendships or professional relationships.
In order to shift a relationship, the other person doesn't have to be in the same place as you are. Sometimes I will find myself in a relationship where the other person may have hardly any awareness of themselves. In intimate relationships, however, I do recommend to partner with another who's equally committed to evolving. Otherwise, it can get really difficult to create a sense of fulfillment because of discrepancies in consciousness.
In partnership we want to cultivate the same principles as laid out above in self-mastery. We want to have practices of listening as in being in our feminine or Yin energy while the other trains themselves in being in their masculine or Yang energy by speaking their truth or delivering an upset with dignity and respect. An upset or complaint is always correlated to some promise or expectation that didn't get fulfilled. How can we deliver a complaint in a way that the other one can hear it? Then it's no longer a complaint that produces dissatisfaction. It's actually then opening up a possibility for a new creation. We want to learn how to do that.
Let's look at how this plays out in intimate relationships: Each of the partners needs to do their work in self-mastery on sexual, emotional and mental levels otherwise creating intimacy and love consciously is not available. Most of us are familiar with falling in love, which is a rather unconscious thing. When it disappears or dissipates we are at a loss (as in separation, divorce or perpetual misery in one’s relations). Since we don't know what we did at the time of falling in love, therefore we cannot replicate it. What I'm bringing here is really about creating intimacy and love as an ongoing practice. There I need to be in my self-mastery and then invite the other to be in their self-mastery.
For example, when I am dissatisfied with something in my relationship with my beloved, I know coming to him and acknowledging him for taking me to a professional meeting just for the sake of supporting me and then making a request like, "You know darling, yesterday I really would have liked to receive your support when it was time for doing the dishes. Actually, I would have liked for you to do the dishes. Next time when I cook dinner, could you do the dishes?" Instead of, "Here we go again. I'm cooking. I'm doing everything. You're just sitting here doing nothing." Guess what the first thing that happens is that his testosterone drops. When his testosterone drops, he doesn't want to connect with me. It's a biological thing. Yes when I can stay open in my Yin place – which does not mean to be nice and pretty, no that's not what I'm talking about – yet open from my heart and asking for what I want, then he can hear it. His testosterone goes up when I say, "Darling, thanks so much for taking me to the meeting, and I'd love for you to do the dishes next time when I cook dinner."
Can you feel the difference?
To be continued in Part III of Human Relationship Mastery
To learn more:
To learn more about Human Relationship Mastery for yourself and/or your team and organizations or to get involved in contributing to the Human Relationship Mastery movement, please connect with Dr. Elsbeth Meuth at [email protected]